Monday, October 1, 2012

Survivor Guilt

It's October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

This month, I reflect on my own luck in having my cells found while they were still in columnar formation and hadn't yet invaded past the mammary ducts.  While I personally was blessed to have them caught early, the same disease stole my best friend.

Judy was literally an angel on earth.  She was patient, loving, and kind...always thinking of everyone else first.  She was everything I aspire to be...a great mom, a fantastic grandmother, and the best friend a girl could ever ask for.

We're told as children that life isn't fair.  But when I think of Judy and the fact she was taken far too soon...I can't help myself.  I get angry because it just isn't fair.  It isn't fair that she's gone.  It isn't fair that her children and grandchildren have to live without her.  It isn't fair that I got off so easy and it took her in a matter of days.  It's not fair.

I keep waiting for that famous "time heals all wounds".  In my opinion, it's a crock.  Judy's loss is still a wide open wound that hurts every day.  Cancer isn't fair.

Love yourself, love your mothers and grandmothers, love your friends.  Take them to their mammograms.  It IS that important.


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