Monday, June 4, 2012

The Unknown

Living in fear is not the best way to spend your days.  Since my divorce though, fear seems to be a constant companion.

Every day I wonder if my choices are wrong, if I've made even more mistakes, and if something else bad is coming.  When I was in my twenties, any of these same choices wouldn't have caused me a second thought.  Now that I'm 50, I'm well versed in repercussions, consequences, and what if's.  That has resulted in what feels like a constant state of terror.

It's not that I miss my younger days.  I don't.  I wouldn't revisit all that melodrama for anything!  But I do miss some of the naivete that dissipates with experience.  It is easier to make bold choices when you aren't aware of what can happen.

My latest goal?  To move past this fear.  To feel like I'm worthy, that I'm good enough, that I deserve the gifts that come my way.

Wish me luck!


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