Thursday, July 5, 2012

If Only...

If only...two of the saddest words a person can utter.

If only someone loved me.

If only I had the perfect job.

If only I was beautiful.

Those two words make the presumption that everything would be all right if just these one or two things were different.  The truth is, even if something was different there would still be something we wish we could change.  It's part of the human condition to wish for better but we need to learn how to live in our own skins and circumstances.

Is it easy?  Hell, no!!!  It's one of the hardest things to do for a human, and especially for a woman.  It's something I struggle with daily.  That's not to say we shouldn't try to change the things we can. But there is no benefit or time to be gained by wishing for things or outcomes over which we have no control.

This is when the Serenity Prayer comes in.  Whatever God or Goddess is your higher power, it is a plea for wisdom we all need at one time or another.

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.



  1. I just had this discussion with a friend yesterday. She was feeling some dread about some medical issue she may or may not have int he future. Here's what I said:

    There's a saying, and I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember how it goes exactly or who said it....

    If you have a problem and there's something you can do about it, then don't worry....
    And if you have a problem and there's nothing you can do about it, then why worry....

    I know that seems very simplistic, but if you can internalize the concept, it's very powerful stuff there! Also, if you want to take the Buddhist spin on it, we should strive to live only in the present. The past is gone and the future is yet to be. The present is the only reality anyway.

  2. totally agree with you, Draigg, re the present is the only reality. Living in the past or anticipating the future is easy but unproductive in a spiritual growth sense, methinks...

  3. Seems so much easier said than done!

  4. Hi Jerri,
    Back surgery and chronic pain limit me from doing the things I once did without giving it a second thought. I constantly have to remind myself that "If onlys" are just a big waste of time and keep me from accomplishing things that I can do. I found you because I too am an Empty Nest Mom. I'll keep reading!

  5. Welcome, Jeannie!! Followed you on Facebook! Hope you enjoy your visits!



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