Wow!! Last Thursday's post definitely resonated with my female readers. If you missed it, you can read it here: Value.
With an exception or two, the feedback I received was from women. Why? Is feeling under-valued strictly a feminine condition? I don't think that's it entirely. Or is it that women take more time to examine their feelings in these situations? That may be part of it.
I believe some of the answer is gender specific. Women are conditioned from a young age to be caretakers. It is an integral part of being a mother and a wife/girlfriend. But that also leads in to it being a generational issue also. Women of my generation grew up watching our mothers take care of everyone and our fathers were not emotive at all.
Are women more appreciative? Deep down, I'm sure it's the same for both genders. I also think that women are better at expressing that appreciation. It doesn't mean that men in general are less appreciative...I just think they don't say it out loud. Some women mentioned that their value seemed to decrease after entering their marriage or relationship. Does that mean that once a man attains his prize, he no longer feels the need to value that prize?
An interesting fact...the feedback I received from women was all done privately. Why? I believe it is because women don't want to admit that they are not valued in their relationships. Am I guilty of the same? You bet!! We all want the world to see us as valued, precious friends, mates, and parents.
Although the original post asked questions, it seems to have raised even more. Do you believe it's a gender issue? Is it generational? Do men grow complacent once they've attained their goal? What do you think?
Love,
Jerri
I think it is mostly nurture. Most women are raised to express these things, most men are not. I'm in an unique position in my marriage in that my husband are opposite of what the "stereotype" is. I was raised in an almost entirely male household where no one ever expressed their emotions, while my husband was raised by an extremely loving, expressive single mother with very little male influence. In our relationship my husband constantly tells me he appreciates me and loves me, while I have had to learn to remember to do these things. I always think them, but it's just more difficult for me to express them, but I've gotten better! I'm not saying this is constantly the case, but I have seen more than this one example of a man who was raised mostly by women being much more expressive and appreciative of the women in their lives. Just my two cents. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent comment!! You have definitely made the case for nurture!
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