Part of my plan for savoring life has to include boundaries. In order to enjoy my year, I have to erect boundaries (or walls) keeping out those who wish me ill or just bring such toxicity with them, that if discolors all around them. As I have said before, this is extremely difficult for me as I tend to believe that deep down, everyone is good.
The truth is, deep down, there is good in everyone. However, that good does not always surface or is aimed in your direction. Which leaves one with the dilemma of what steps to take to protect yourself. How do you eliminate the toxic without throwing away the good?
My personal litmus test is past behavior. The adage is true, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them!" If someone has treated you shabbily in the past, their behavior speaks for itself. As a friend of mine recently reminded me, "A leopard doesn't change its spots!" He was absolutely correct and is also a friend whose opinion I truly value.
By closing my circle and not allowing such people in, I have been accused of being unforgiving. That is not the case. I have forgiven. I have also chosen not to allow another opportunity for someone filled with hate to enter my life again. It is my life, and I am allowed to make that choice. Does this make my circle smaller? It definitely does. It also makes my circle one of love. Again, my choice.
How are you with setting boundaries? Have you succeeded in eliminating toxic situations and people? Let me know your tips and tricks!