Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Emotional Care

Yesterday, I spoke on physical self-care.  Honestly, I believe that the physical aspect is probably the easiest to improve and manage.  Emotional self-care is more difficult by far.

Taking care of yourself emotionally means making some difficult choices.  Is everyone in your life healthy for you?  Are there toxic people or relationships that really need to go?  We all seem to have that friend who disguises a slam as "just trying to help" or "thought you would want to know". Actually, no.  A true friend that actually wants to help lets her actions speak for her.  

Frequently, it is our own doing that brings such toxicity into our lives.  We consciously make the choice to repeat or continue behavior that harms us emotionally.  We return to situations or relationships that we know are not healthy.  You have heard the definition of insanity?  Repeating the same actions expecting a different result.  If someone has hurt you, betrayed you, or disrespected you in the past, that person is showing you who they really are.  Believe them, forgive them, and run away as fast as you can.  To remain in or return to a relationship with that person will continue to bring the same pain it always did...but this time YOU made the choice to bear that pain.  Why?

This is probably the area of self-care with which I struggle the most.  Most of the time, I believe that deep down inside someone, there is some small speck of redemption.  In actuality, some people may just be unredeemable.  In addition, it is not my job to repeatedly bear pain in the hope that someday that person may change and become caring and kind.  Repeat after me:  NOT MY JOB!

How do you handle the toxic people in your life?  Even more, how do you handle that person who makes the deliberate choice to invite such pain into theirs?  Any and all suggestions welcome!


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