Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Just Say No

One of the hardest boundaries to set is that which includes the word "NO!".  Why is that two-letter tiny word so hard to say and so hard to live by?

Whether it is saying no to taking on more activities, responsibilities, or even daily chores, why do we struggle so?  Granted, it is a human trait to want to be liked.  We fear that if we tell someone no, that we will not be as liked, popular, etc. as if we had agreed to whatever was asked of us.  There is not a mother in this country who has not been sucked into just one more PTA activity, fundraiser, children's party, or anything of that ilk.  Why?  Because we were either afraid of not being liked or afraid that saying no might hurt someone's feelings.

The truth is that those feelings are not our responsibility.  That same principle applies to those people and situations that will put our emotional or spiritual well-being in jeopardy.  We have the right to say no to someone else's drama.  It is perfectly okay to say no in the act of self-preservation.

Is it easy to do?  Definitely not!  For those of us who are innate caretakers, it is particularly difficult. But by saying yes when we shouldn't, we open ourselves to unnecessary trauma to our psyche, not to mention the utter exhaustion that comes from carrying another's emotions.

For today, if something feels like it is too much, say no.  Start small if you have to.  Remember, you are human and, as spectacular as you are, there are limitations to what you can do, carry, and fix.  Just say no.


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